This week last year I conceived our little Alleluia Abel and had just lost Amadeus two weeks prior. I remember how excited and giddy I was when I went for my post miscarriage visit with my OB and she advised that I wait one cycle before we allow conception and I chuckled and said, "um, you should have mentioned that last time, it might be too late." I knew I was pregnant. I'm four weeks away from when I lost Abel and, at the same time, our Easter Lily in the grave yard has decided to bloom...5 blooms. The memories of last summer are so strong even as I feel the constant kicks of the baby inside of me.
God has chosen for now to turn my mourning into dancing in expectation of this sweet baby we're carrying, but I don't suppose I'll ever stop crying for my babies gone so soon.
This next picture shows the two dead lilies we planted from this Easter that we're hoping, like the first one, will come back new next year.