Why my home school kid

will always be smarter than I was at his age.

Ever since we moved to the city I have been put in a number of uncomfortable positions concerning the perceived education level of my eldest.

It seems everywhere we go in the city people are like autobots. On the surface they have different jobs, different colors, different homes, etc but then they randomly get in lines, raise their hands to speak, and "roll out" doing whatever anyone with pretend authority tells them to. This may be offensive to some, and I'm making generalizations, but after years of living out in the middle of nowhere it really shows how programmed people can be.

Enter my oldest home school kid. He doesn't know how to walk in line, he had never been told to raise his hand to speak (if he's in a situation where there are many people talking and he wants a turn he either waits until there is quiet or he goes to the adult in the room and puts his hand on their arm to quietly get their attention), and his only authority is God and his Mama and Daddy and any adult his Mama and Daddy are friends with.

And suddenly his differences started to stand out. In Sunday School he couldn't write or read what they wanted him to. When questioned by strangers he had no idea what grade he was in. He doesn't know what a book report is, what a test is, what grades are, or how to make a diorama..much less what one even is. He doesn't know what language arts means, what detention is, and he doesn't know what it is to have his day be about fine tuning his knowledge in a progression of subjects, order, walking in line, performing, and concentrating on his own person.

At first this worried me. Suddenly I realized I may have ruined my son before he reached the tender age of 7. He would be a public school failure if I entered him today.

But then, after freaking out one day, a series of events showed me something very fascinating.

One day my husband took my son on a nursing home visit. My son LOVES going on nursing home visits with his Dad. He told me Mrs B, who is 80 something years old, was his best friend. While there she asked him what he's learning in school. When I heard this I panicked...we hadn't done formal "school" in days. Well he happily told her all about several famous war battle ships, who was on them by name and rank, and which wars they fought in and who won. She was blown away. He learned all this from a few books we have at home and from a history documentary he watched one time. The way in which he presented the information was clear and organized. He could give a better oral report than any written report I had spent hours on at his age and he did it on the spot without effort.

Another day I found a list of things children should know by the end of first grade. I began hyperventilating as I read the list realizing we had covered none of the things in the science, history, or language arts sections. OK, maybe not none, but very few. I made mental notes to talk to him about many of the things that stood out. Later that day we went to a home school group that we attend weekly and one of the lessons happened to cover several of the things. The mother leading the lesson began asking questions and one by one my son shouted out the answers along side the other kids. I was astounded! How did he know these things? I questioned him later and he told me the titles of several books we had at home. To satiate my curiosity I began running through the rest of the list. Somehow he knew every single thing on the list.

My son's day revolves 100% around his family. From the time he wakes up he helps serve his siblings and his parents in all the daily tasks of keeping home, cooking meals with me, play time, lesson time, and greeting Daddy at the end of the day. We take turns having one on one time with Mom for learning and when he's not with me he's teaching his brother letters or playing with the baby or going over colors and numbers with our 2 yr old. He doesn't do this because he's forced, he thinks it's fun. And later in the day he watches for our older neighbor lady in a wheel chair so he can visit with her and our next door neighbor handy man to ask him about his day and if there's any jobs he needs help with.

And his world view at this age is that life is about serving God first and his family/neighbor second. It is about obeying authority and serving. And in the safety of home and family he cannot get his fill of learning. Subjects are not divided and counted off, they fall naturally into life where they belong and where they are learned with much curiosity and vigor. Math is done in the grocery store line and in budgeting and in lego making. Science is done in making home made cleaners and in understanding why baking soda mixed with vinegar in our almond butter bread recipe makes it bubble.

And at the end of the day I realized...my son is like a butterfly before it emerges from it's chrysalis...he may look drab and people may wonder if he'll ever emerge "normal" by society's terms, but that little boy has so much natural curiosity and SO much knowledge on more subjects than I had ever even began to know at his age, that on the day when writing and difficult reading finally click for him, he will astound everyone.

He will never need a job or friends or a schedule to make him feel like he is a part of something or to keep him from feeling lost. He feels identity in family and service to God. As long as there is someone to serve or help he feels purpose. He'll learn to fill in bubbles and write reports later...and when he does he will embarrass me in all my pathetic attempts as a child. He will grow in his love for one area of service over another and will learn to fill out a W-2 and will have a job capable of providing for his family. But I can't wait to see how a life outside of divided segmented subjects and tests and self development/character analysis/Myers Briggs and walking in lines makes him a different individual with a different world view. I can't wait to see the things he and all my children will teach me as they get older because of the absolutely different people they will be from anything my public school produced.

Please note that I did not say my home school kid is BETTER than I am/was. I do not think he is better. I do not think school or home or private school is BETTER. Each family has different reasons for choosing each thing and I know many families and dear friends that have chosen one over another for VERY good reasons, reasons I agree with and admire. I think their kids are amazing and I think God is using and blessing and molding their upbringing for a certain purpose.

But the path our family has been set on is exciting and new for me. I am seeing the differences and it excites me for what God could have planned for my kids. And even though he looks absolutely dumb and inept to some standards of education, I'm here to brag that my kid is a genius.