The Waiting Place

You know those moments in life where you hold your breath and all of life stops as you wait for results or answers?

One of the The most poignant example in my life is the night my little sister came into my room late one night to announce "Dad's plane went down." 14 Hours later my Pastor came into our house with my Mom to tell us our Dad was dead. For 14 hours I waited. Agonized. Cleaned EVERY SINGLE INCH of our home. My whole 17 yr old world stood absolutely still.

We wait all the time, for packages that mean so much, phone calls we pray will come, money we desperately need, jobs to be offered, reuniting hugs from family members we haven't seen in a long time...

For nine months I've been in a never ending waiting hell. For 9 months I've been telling people I'm pregnant only to turn around and tell them the baby has died only to turn around and say I'm pregnant again, and the baby has died again, and.... It feels like some kind of sick joke to be pregnant off and on for 9 months with nothing to show but some mounds of dirt in my backyard and a heart that feels like it's seeping out of my chest.

It reminds me of the Scripture about the whole world groaning with birth pains as we await the last day (Matthew 24:8). But further in the passage is this little gem:

"And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold."

Love will grow cold. Isn't that so sad? It makes me want to hold my children in my lap and never let go.

See that your love does not grow cold. In the waiting, in the hurting, in the dying, in the tribulation, do not let your love grow cold. Do not turn your heart hard in your grief and in your trying to put on a happy face. Your tears show your love and your Lord collects each one and they will be wiped away forever on the last day. 

Saying Happy Easter to his baby sister.