During times of immense suffering and cross-bearing, it is far too easy to become trapped inside your own mind. Think of when you first feel a cold coming on. You notice it and think to yourself the things you should be doing to make sure it doesn't get out of hand. But by and large you are able to move outside of your suffering and go about the world around you. But then by the time the cold has progressed into that awful sensation of having rubber cement jammed into your sinuses and swallowing razor blades while fighting a terrible fever and aches, well, you are FORCED to fall away from the rest of the world and in on you and only you. The rest of the world falls away and in desperation your mind goes nuts for relief.

Now imagine if during this time you decided to do some soul searching. Here are the things you might soul search about: Were you eating well enough to begin with? Were you getting enough rest? Did you expose yourself to an illness you could have avoided? 

Now imagine if this was your 6th illness in a short period of time. Here are some questions that might follow then: (All of the above), Are you trying to be super woman in your life? Are you trying to prove something by over exerting yourself? What law are you fulfilling by working yourself to the point of illness?

But, of course, there's something wrong with this picture to the point of humor. First, none of the above may be true but observers may think they are simply because of your symptoms and your inability to speak clearly in your illness. But second, have you ever seen someone drastically ill with fever, searing pain, and the inability to breathe have the energy and/or ability to think these questions let alone have the power to comprehend them? No? 

Neither do the suffering.