Good Friday

Tonight I attempted a nearly 2 hr long Good Friday service with an 8 yr old boy, a 6 yr old boy, a 4 yr old boy, and a 2 yr old boy....while nauseous. Do you want to know what it's like to do this?

I will try to show you:

It's 2 hours of:

Mom:

"Stand up" "Don't swing on the pew." "Fold your hands" "Whisper" "Don't pick your nose" "Don't swing on the pew" "Sit still" "Sit up" "Put your shoes back on" "It's not your turn to talk" "No singing right now please" "do NOT unbutton your shirt!" "don't swing on the pew" "no, you may not roll up the bulletin into a horn" "stop ticking your brother" "stop making faces at the people behind you" "don't swing on the pew" "do not sit on the hymnal" "do not stand on the hymnal" " stop beating on your bulletin with your pen" "stop stabbing the bulletin with your pen" "don't swing on the pew" "no pushing!" "it's pastor's turn to talk" REPEAT ENTIRE PARAGRAPH EVERY 5 MINUTES.

You would think I'm exaggerating. I assure you I am not. I'm not sure what got into my 4 and 2 yr olds tonight. It could be I let them sample a little too much frosting right before we left for church for the birthday cake for their brother, but even though they were a little more wound up tonight than usual, I found myself wanting to cry out for help from the Lord. I wanted to scream for mercy and help. On top of it my giant 4 yr old wanted to sit on my lap most of the service and I suddenly was so hot I thought I would faint but when I tried to put him down he started screaming his protest.

I assure you my children are disciplined. I love my boys dearly and our days are full of cuddles and Mama love and fun but I also run a tight ship and our long morning devotions give them ample practice for church. They KNOW how to behave. But...they are also 8, 6, 4, and 2. And they are children.

We made it up for communion, somehow, and then returned to our seats. My big man climbed back on my lap and I opened my hymnal while he balanced another on his (my) lap to support his color bulletin.  Though I am a well trained Lutheran, if I am completely honest, my soul was crying out, "Lord, how will I ever show You I love You, how will I ever earn Your love if I can't even think on You or meditate on Your Word or be moved in my thoughts during church because I'm so busy wrangling these monkeys?!" Oh, how I yearn to be able to truly think on my Lord during church!! Then I looked up. We have two pastors at our church and a team of elders that help distribute the Sacrament to a table that is really two tables long. It's a beautiful flow of parishioners filing in behind the table, stepping forward while the next group files in behind them to step forward as they leave and on and on. Well, I looked up and while "Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted" played on the organ and parishioners on the table to the right were being fed, parishioners on the left were looking up at my husband-pastor as an elder held out a freshly refilled tray of the Elements for my husband to speak the Words of Institution over. The altar area where he did it was dimly lit and so much else was going on but in that moment my eyes filled with tears.

Oh how easy Jesus makes it for us! We ran out of communion and in just moments more was prepared. Such simple words that are spoken! How amazing that we humans muddle through, doing the best we can, which isn't much, but Jesus makes it so easy for us to receive Him.

Isn't it funny that of the entire Good Friday chief service, THAT is the moment that would make me cry? But it was so beautiful, so simple, and so completely God providing in such simple, quiet, and efficient way. Not many people probably even noticed we ran out or that Pastor had to pause momentarily to speak God's Word over more elements, but it happened and that's how God is. He saves us when we don't even notice, when we can't notice, when we can't take time to feel Him, and when we are drowning in the work of this world. He comes when no one notices, He dies when no one watches, and He rises, seeks us out, and saves us.

"What language shall I borrow to thank Thee, dearest Friend,
For this Thy dying sorrow, They pity without end?
O make me Thine forever!
And should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never,
 Outlive my love for Thee."
O Sacred Head, Now Wounded LSB #450, vs 5