"Some went down to the sea in ships, doing business on the great waters; they saw the deeds of the Lord, His wondrous works in the deep. For he commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths; their courage melted away in their evil plight;
they reeled and staggered like drunken men and were at their wits' end. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven." Psalm 107:23-30

Saturday, July 19, 2014

It's that time of year

This week I have found myself randomly getting choked up and needing to cry. I thought it was the extra stress of watching someone else's child full time but it's strange how a Mama heart works.

This week last year I conceived our little Alleluia Abel and had just lost Amadeus two weeks prior. I remember how excited and giddy I was when I went for my post miscarriage visit with my OB and she advised that I wait one cycle before we allow conception and I chuckled and said, "um, you should have mentioned that last time, it might be too late." I knew I was pregnant. I'm four weeks away from when I lost Abel and, at the same time, our Easter Lily in the grave yard has decided to bloom...5 blooms. The memories of last summer are so strong even as I feel the constant kicks of the baby inside of me.

God has chosen for now to turn my mourning into dancing in expectation of this sweet baby we're carrying, but I don't suppose I'll ever stop crying for my babies gone so soon.



This next picture shows the two dead lilies we planted from this Easter that we're hoping, like the first one, will come back new next year. 

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