Something really profound has started to unfold in our household. Seriously, prepare to be blown away.
Are home schooled kids really that different from school kids or is this just a lucky random phase my kids seem to be going through? I'm sure it would be generalizing, wrong, whatever, to assume it's home schooling but then I can't help but wonder with what we've been seeing in our home lately.
Cases in point:
7 yr old: "Mama, I can't wait to go with Daddy on shut in visits. Mrs. B (95 yrs old) is my best friend!"
same 7 yr old: "Mama, I love it when Mrs. D (wheel chair ridden neighbor in late 50's) comes outside to walk her dog, she's my best friend."
Me to husband "How did shut in visits go today?"
Husband "Great, at first the woman we saw was asking a lot of questions about why we home school and was very skeptical. She was even quizzing our son to see if he 'knew anything' and asked 'what we do all day'. But by the end she was singing his praises and was stunned as she watched him delight in playing with and taking care of her 18 month old granddaughter. She said, 'It's amazing, he's just SO sweet and nice to EVERYONE!'"
7 yr old, "Mama, that little girl was SO SWEET and CUTE! It was so fun making her laugh."
I could go on and on but suddenly the differences are really starting to stand out. A friend was recently complaining to me about her son who is an elementary student in a private school. She was bemoaning the fact that he has entered his teenage years early and is very sassy, rolling his eyes and withdrawing from his siblings and family...not in a depressed kind of way but just in a teenage way. But she supposed it was normal and he would eventually grow out of it. Another mom who was with us agreed that her daughter was going through the same thing, also in elementary. I nodded sympathetically but did not add to the conversation because I couldn't!
My children are sinners. Duh. All you have to do is read previous posts to see how frustrating they can be. But my kids ADORE family. Their brothers are their best friends. My oldest has been amazing me more and more. If his baby brother cries he runs from across the house to care for him. He's quite a demanding 1 yr old and has taken to LOVING the website www.starfall.com. So my 7 yr old got on the abc's portion and did it with him to calm him down while I was cooking supper, without my even asking! Meanwhile I'll find my 4 yr old rubbing my 3 yr old's back when he trips and falls. Or I'll see him run for the bathroom when he see's the 3 yr old going in because he knows he can't reach the light switch.
Perhaps the real reason is my kids are so bored from "doing nothing" all day. ;) They have nothing better to do than help their brothers and hang out making each other happy.
My sister, mother of 10 kids, sends her kids to elementary at the public school then brings them home for middle and high. Her kids are amazing. They love being together as a family and recently my sister posted video on her blog of all the kids opening their Christmas presents. Well, as each one opened their gift the others were crowded around cheering for him or her and truly delighting in the happiness of their sibling. They are in public school but they exhibit the same love for family and one another that I'm seeing in my kids.
So I know it's not just the school factor, but hey, I just had to say that I'm so excited to see this completely different family evolving in front of me than I ever was a part of as a kid. My parents saw to it that I was in church every single Sunday and my Mom and Dad were parents of faith and tried to make it an active part of our home life...but my siblings and I were selfish and self absorbed and competitive beyond belief.
But God's Holy Spirit is working in my home, answering my prayers, and creating faith and service and joy in serving in children far younger than I ever expected to see it in! Thanks be to God!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
January
Blogging is a strange thing. It supposes that I have anything to say. Even further than anything I would say is of any value enough to write or for anyone to read. I know this is not true. So I'll admit that I'm here tonight to surface from the abyss and log that I do indeed still exist in these nights, days, weeks, and months that can blend together into one long string of laundry, poop, snotty noses, and restless/intermittent (at best) sleep for everyone involved.
January has been a month of colds and fevers but I really can't complain. A: In His mercy the Lord spared me and my little prune (at least that is the size of the baby according to thebump) from any of the sicknesses. B: We never got anything resembling the awful flu I've heard so much about in the news but it really seems we haven't been free of tissues and cold medicine for a month.
A couple of positive things have happened. First I gutted the play room and organized everything into sterilite plastic bins. My husband bought these super industrial gigantic shelving units made out of steel for our basement and lined two whole walls with them. One unit holds all our stored clothes in size-labeled bins. Another unit holds all Christmas/Easter/Fall decorations. Another unit holds all the toys in their bins. The last unit is overflow for clothes and also holds our suitcases for travel. Our basement is now clean and orderly!
The toy room holds minimal toys now. Legos, blocks, and a few Star Wars and super hero toys. When they tire of these we will bin them up and bring up a couple new bins. I plan to do this once a month or so. The challenge is getting them to realize that I won't go down into the basement every day when they think of a toy they want to play with. They will have to be creative with what is out and be excited for when other toys come. I will allow them to make requests and maybe even take turns choosing.
Another reason I did the play room thing is that we're hoping to being phasing out the play room. We have 4 rooms upstairs. 1 guest room, 1 nursery, 1 play room, and the boys' room. Eventually we will either have a girl that will need the play room or our boys will become too many and I will move a couple older ones into the play room. So sooner rather than later we will begin phasing that room out.
I'm also making some changes in homeschooling. Good grief, if I had a penny for every time I had to make changes. But I'm learning this is not a sign of failure in previous methods, but of the constant cycle of growth and change. My kids grow and change, I learn more about my growing and changing kids and am better able to perceive their needs, etc.
I realized the curricula I was using for my oldest is beyond his ability. He's not strong enough in the fundamentals to be able to do the tasks independently. So I bought the Christian Light first grade Learning to Read, Reading, Language Arts, and Math. My sister has a son that had to be brought home because he had failed first grade. It was not his fault and the circumstances were awful. My sister bought the CLE stuff and did two grades in one year! He is now back in school where he should be and getting all A's! I plan to work double time to get him where he needs to be so that by fall he is on track with his second grade work and on his way to working much more independently. The thing is, he's so curious that I was letting him just be a sponge in his memorization and listening without drawing him into learning to read really efficiently himself. But I know he CAN do it and I know he's READY to do it, I just did not have the right tools to get him there. It's my all or nothing attitude and his lack of confidence and wanting to know how to do something without learning it that have prevented us from getting where we need to be. I'm so thankful for my sister and good friends who know me well and give me little pushes in the right direction.
Now if we could just get some warm weather for crying out loud and if this nausea would pass...but I suppose beggars can't be choosers. And I wouldn't want my way anyways.
January has been a month of colds and fevers but I really can't complain. A: In His mercy the Lord spared me and my little prune (at least that is the size of the baby according to thebump) from any of the sicknesses. B: We never got anything resembling the awful flu I've heard so much about in the news but it really seems we haven't been free of tissues and cold medicine for a month.
A couple of positive things have happened. First I gutted the play room and organized everything into sterilite plastic bins. My husband bought these super industrial gigantic shelving units made out of steel for our basement and lined two whole walls with them. One unit holds all our stored clothes in size-labeled bins. Another unit holds all Christmas/Easter/Fall decorations. Another unit holds all the toys in their bins. The last unit is overflow for clothes and also holds our suitcases for travel. Our basement is now clean and orderly!
The toy room holds minimal toys now. Legos, blocks, and a few Star Wars and super hero toys. When they tire of these we will bin them up and bring up a couple new bins. I plan to do this once a month or so. The challenge is getting them to realize that I won't go down into the basement every day when they think of a toy they want to play with. They will have to be creative with what is out and be excited for when other toys come. I will allow them to make requests and maybe even take turns choosing.
Another reason I did the play room thing is that we're hoping to being phasing out the play room. We have 4 rooms upstairs. 1 guest room, 1 nursery, 1 play room, and the boys' room. Eventually we will either have a girl that will need the play room or our boys will become too many and I will move a couple older ones into the play room. So sooner rather than later we will begin phasing that room out.
I'm also making some changes in homeschooling. Good grief, if I had a penny for every time I had to make changes. But I'm learning this is not a sign of failure in previous methods, but of the constant cycle of growth and change. My kids grow and change, I learn more about my growing and changing kids and am better able to perceive their needs, etc.
I realized the curricula I was using for my oldest is beyond his ability. He's not strong enough in the fundamentals to be able to do the tasks independently. So I bought the Christian Light first grade Learning to Read, Reading, Language Arts, and Math. My sister has a son that had to be brought home because he had failed first grade. It was not his fault and the circumstances were awful. My sister bought the CLE stuff and did two grades in one year! He is now back in school where he should be and getting all A's! I plan to work double time to get him where he needs to be so that by fall he is on track with his second grade work and on his way to working much more independently. The thing is, he's so curious that I was letting him just be a sponge in his memorization and listening without drawing him into learning to read really efficiently himself. But I know he CAN do it and I know he's READY to do it, I just did not have the right tools to get him there. It's my all or nothing attitude and his lack of confidence and wanting to know how to do something without learning it that have prevented us from getting where we need to be. I'm so thankful for my sister and good friends who know me well and give me little pushes in the right direction.
Now if we could just get some warm weather for crying out loud and if this nausea would pass...but I suppose beggars can't be choosers. And I wouldn't want my way anyways.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Supermom
Lately it has come to my attention how absolutely amazingly hard our jobs as stay at home homeschooling moms are. Hard is so not the right word. Try worthy of every medal for any amazing job out there. However much work any person's office job is, mine is more. OK, maybe not any one's...maybe the president has a few more things on his plate. Maybe. But seriously, with a bundle of little kids at home full time and their education in my hands, holy smokes: MY PLATE IS OVERFLOWING. At least the president can delegate. And I don't think he has to scrub his own toilets. Or cook his own food. OR...Or...or...
I say this not in a state of self adoration but in a state of shock mixed with maybe a little big of Lord Help me. Did any of you other moms with several little ones ever wake up one day and realize this? I remember when #3 was born was the first time I started to realize kids were a ton of work. I've said before that I'm pretty sure I cried the first 6 months of #3's life. Now there were other reasons for that but I digress.
But lately with moving into a really old house (think 1895) that needs a LOT of work. Oh, it's a very nice house considering, but we have a ton of projects. But I digress again.
But seriously: 4 kids, 4 boys, produce A TON of mayhem!!! Last week I binned up every single toy in the play room. I checked every nook and cranny for toys. I put them all away in the basement and left out only 2 bins of toys in addition to toys that will always be left out like a bin of stuffed animals, the legos, and the blocks. SOME HOW I am finding spare toys EVERYWHERE. Good grief it's like they're marching out of the basement while I sleep!!! And no, my kids are not going down there. So I know I've just missed them and now am going to have to go back down there and continue to put away toys that are coming out of the woodwork.
So the toys, the endless toys and ENDLESS organization that must be done to keep this house from KILLING US ALL.
The socks. Stupid socks. Laundry EVERYWHERE.
The 1 yr old that was sleeping through the night FINALLY and now isn't. Again. And I'm one of those moms that will still nurse when they absolutely want it. I don't like night time, why would I expect my 1 yr old to? And when I'm not nursing him I'm up peeing for the other baby. And now I'm getting nauseous in the middle of the night. That is so not fun. And the insomnia... oh I hate insomnia.
Food. Good grief, I live in my kitchen! And do you know I don't even own a regular vacuum anymore?! I have to use a shopvac because it looks like the floor is a turned over pig trough after every meal. I really don't know how this happens because while we're eating they really don't look that sloppy...I guess food just falls off their fork and onto the floor while they eat. sigh. I don't even put it away. It has a permanent spot in the corner of our kitchen so I can vacuum several times a day to keep the floor from turning into a dirt floor and to keep the fruit flies to a minimum so they don't kill us.
Lessons. Trying to figure out how to have even a few minutes of quality one on one with each kid each day. Training. Training. Training. Never. Ending. Training. Especially with the 2 and 3 year old age groups. And I always have at least one of those. I love my 2/3 year olds...but really...they're psycho.
Did I mention socks? I hate socks. I really cannot for the life of me figure out a way to keep the sock thing under control. They are everywhere and no one ever has any to wear! AHHHHHHH.
I know flylady. I know large family logistics. I know managers of their homes. And I know most of my friends would say my house looks fine and I know it looks fine but good grief, just when I think it might actually look good I turn around and it's like someone took my house, turned it upside down and SHOOK with all their might!!! And all the organization in the world and all the planning in the world has made me realize that no matter how organized and how scheduled my day is ( and mine is pretty over structured right now: just ask the sticky chart for each member of the family with post it notes for every half hour) it will NEVER be organized or DONE because with this many little people in the house life IS ALWAYS TENDING TOWARDS CHAOS.
So here we go again, in a few hours another day will start and we will take it one minute at a time and Lord willing I will be gifted with another amazing day getting to be the mother of these children that I don't deserve and can hardly believe are mine because they are just so awesome and maybe some how I will manage to stay ahead of it enough so the house does not eat us all.
I say this not in a state of self adoration but in a state of shock mixed with maybe a little big of Lord Help me. Did any of you other moms with several little ones ever wake up one day and realize this? I remember when #3 was born was the first time I started to realize kids were a ton of work. I've said before that I'm pretty sure I cried the first 6 months of #3's life. Now there were other reasons for that but I digress.
But lately with moving into a really old house (think 1895) that needs a LOT of work. Oh, it's a very nice house considering, but we have a ton of projects. But I digress again.
But seriously: 4 kids, 4 boys, produce A TON of mayhem!!! Last week I binned up every single toy in the play room. I checked every nook and cranny for toys. I put them all away in the basement and left out only 2 bins of toys in addition to toys that will always be left out like a bin of stuffed animals, the legos, and the blocks. SOME HOW I am finding spare toys EVERYWHERE. Good grief it's like they're marching out of the basement while I sleep!!! And no, my kids are not going down there. So I know I've just missed them and now am going to have to go back down there and continue to put away toys that are coming out of the woodwork.
So the toys, the endless toys and ENDLESS organization that must be done to keep this house from KILLING US ALL.
The socks. Stupid socks. Laundry EVERYWHERE.
The 1 yr old that was sleeping through the night FINALLY and now isn't. Again. And I'm one of those moms that will still nurse when they absolutely want it. I don't like night time, why would I expect my 1 yr old to? And when I'm not nursing him I'm up peeing for the other baby. And now I'm getting nauseous in the middle of the night. That is so not fun. And the insomnia... oh I hate insomnia.
Food. Good grief, I live in my kitchen! And do you know I don't even own a regular vacuum anymore?! I have to use a shopvac because it looks like the floor is a turned over pig trough after every meal. I really don't know how this happens because while we're eating they really don't look that sloppy...I guess food just falls off their fork and onto the floor while they eat. sigh. I don't even put it away. It has a permanent spot in the corner of our kitchen so I can vacuum several times a day to keep the floor from turning into a dirt floor and to keep the fruit flies to a minimum so they don't kill us.
Lessons. Trying to figure out how to have even a few minutes of quality one on one with each kid each day. Training. Training. Training. Never. Ending. Training. Especially with the 2 and 3 year old age groups. And I always have at least one of those. I love my 2/3 year olds...but really...they're psycho.
Did I mention socks? I hate socks. I really cannot for the life of me figure out a way to keep the sock thing under control. They are everywhere and no one ever has any to wear! AHHHHHHH.
I know flylady. I know large family logistics. I know managers of their homes. And I know most of my friends would say my house looks fine and I know it looks fine but good grief, just when I think it might actually look good I turn around and it's like someone took my house, turned it upside down and SHOOK with all their might!!! And all the organization in the world and all the planning in the world has made me realize that no matter how organized and how scheduled my day is ( and mine is pretty over structured right now: just ask the sticky chart for each member of the family with post it notes for every half hour) it will NEVER be organized or DONE because with this many little people in the house life IS ALWAYS TENDING TOWARDS CHAOS.
So here we go again, in a few hours another day will start and we will take it one minute at a time and Lord willing I will be gifted with another amazing day getting to be the mother of these children that I don't deserve and can hardly believe are mine because they are just so awesome and maybe some how I will manage to stay ahead of it enough so the house does not eat us all.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Is it just me?
Today I went to check my email and had one of those emails from baby center. The name always cracks me up, like if we could just walk into the baby center to leave with a baby. Anyways, I signed up when pregnant with my first to receive those weekly emails with the pictures of the aliens each week where they tell you what to worry about each week, what not to eat, and then keep you hooked with the cute little picture and what is currently developing.
But when I clicked on the email the side bar had a picture of an adorable 8 mo pregnant woman and I thought, oh my word, I'M PREGNANT! That is going to be ME in a few months!!! weird!
How is it that it never feels normal? Is it just me? This is my fifth pregnancy that has gone past 6 weeks and I still find myself looking at other large pregnant women like it's my first. Crud, am I really going to get THAT big? I'm sorry but that is just weird. The thought of feeling something moving around inside of me, of having a giant water balloon with a living moving bag of bones and muscle inside...and a skull...and a giant head half the size of its body...well my kids do anyways... the thought of that leaves me either shocked, nauseous, or in denial...or all three.
I'm in the nausea phase now. Not sure why but my morning sickness is actually evening sickness and has been each time. By around 2:30/3 it starts setting in and by 6/7 I just want to lay on the couch wrapped up in a blanket. The strange thing is that when I'm nauseous all I can think about is food. I go through every food I can think of, quickly discarding each one that makes me want to hurl, which is all of them, until I come up with one that actually makes me hungry instead of pukey. Tonight it's custard. Unfortunately my husband has a migraine so I decided to write about it instead of sending him out to get it for me.
But I guess here we go. Weeks of nausea followed by the I swear I'm pregnant and not just fat phase, followed by the I actually look pregnant and sorta cute to people who suddenly have this insatiable desire to rub me like a good luck sports trophy phase, to the I have enough energy to at least get off the couch but have occasional panic attacks at how fast the scale is climbing phase, followed by the I'm so fat I want to die will this kid ever come out phase. 12 weeks later the kid eventually comes out and you get to spend the next 12 months trying to convince yourself you survived birth and postpartum and will in fact be OK.
At least, God-willing, Lord have mercy, there's a cute baby face to look at for those 12 months.
So I guess here we go. Let the games begin.
But when I clicked on the email the side bar had a picture of an adorable 8 mo pregnant woman and I thought, oh my word, I'M PREGNANT! That is going to be ME in a few months!!! weird!
How is it that it never feels normal? Is it just me? This is my fifth pregnancy that has gone past 6 weeks and I still find myself looking at other large pregnant women like it's my first. Crud, am I really going to get THAT big? I'm sorry but that is just weird. The thought of feeling something moving around inside of me, of having a giant water balloon with a living moving bag of bones and muscle inside...and a skull...and a giant head half the size of its body...well my kids do anyways... the thought of that leaves me either shocked, nauseous, or in denial...or all three.
I'm in the nausea phase now. Not sure why but my morning sickness is actually evening sickness and has been each time. By around 2:30/3 it starts setting in and by 6/7 I just want to lay on the couch wrapped up in a blanket. The strange thing is that when I'm nauseous all I can think about is food. I go through every food I can think of, quickly discarding each one that makes me want to hurl, which is all of them, until I come up with one that actually makes me hungry instead of pukey. Tonight it's custard. Unfortunately my husband has a migraine so I decided to write about it instead of sending him out to get it for me.
But I guess here we go. Weeks of nausea followed by the I swear I'm pregnant and not just fat phase, followed by the I actually look pregnant and sorta cute to people who suddenly have this insatiable desire to rub me like a good luck sports trophy phase, to the I have enough energy to at least get off the couch but have occasional panic attacks at how fast the scale is climbing phase, followed by the I'm so fat I want to die will this kid ever come out phase. 12 weeks later the kid eventually comes out and you get to spend the next 12 months trying to convince yourself you survived birth and postpartum and will in fact be OK.
At least, God-willing, Lord have mercy, there's a cute baby face to look at for those 12 months.
So I guess here we go. Let the games begin.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
from the mouths of babes
This evening my husband and I finished singing "Silent Night" to our boys and I left the three oldest boys' room to go tuck the baby in. I sat on the floor nursing and my husband came in chuckling.
He had stayed behind as our 4 yr old asked him for something and our son said, "Daddy I'm really sorry I was whining so much about my brother's new toys today. (Today was our now 3 yr old's birthday.) It's so hard when they're SO new and SO cool. But I know that toys are not important. Food is important. People are important too. And Jesus is important."
I had to laugh hard. He definitely is a boy. ;)
Our 4 yr old has been really struggling with coveting and stealing toys from his brothers lately. Each time we've disciplined and given words of reproof and correction and really spent time dealing with his heart...loving him, affirming him in his faith and salvation, and my husband has offered absolution each and every time.
At times it has become overwhelming to see such reoccurring sin in one so young...overwhelming because it not only grieves our hearts to worry about his faith and our perceived responsibility there, but also because it points the finger right back to us and our own sin. It's like wearing the sin of 5 people for me: my four sons and myself...and then blaming myself for their sin knowing I bore them in sin...and then to think we've solved the issue only to have him give right in again. I've prayed about it, prayed with him, and reminded him that any time he feels tempted he can come to us and we will help him.
But tonight showed such grace and love from God. HE IS HERE. HE IS WORKING. HE IS TRULY PRESENT IN OUR LIVES. My son is saved. God's Holy Spirit is truly present in his heart and was truly given in his baptism. I have evidence as my son's heart is moved to repentance each night before bed without even a little prompting from us. And when my husband gave absolution he was truly comforted and sighed a little sigh of happy content relief.
A week ago we all got sick with the flu. You know, the real flu, the fever, cold, body ache kind. Well, thank the Lord my husband and I avoided it. Anyways, our poor 4 yr old also gets respiratory distress whenever he gets sick. We were doing around the clock nebulizer treatments trying to keep him out of the ER. One night, in the middle of the night, my husband was up doing a treatment for him and in his half asleep, half dopey albuterol state our son said in a funny drawn out voice (like when someone is waking up from being put under), "Daadd, I'm sorry I took my brother's toy today. It was just so shiny...and so new...and it had so many cool things inside of it. I just wanted it in my pocket."
We had a good chuckle over that one too. His heart is being moved by God's Holy Spirit to repentance at the tender age of 4. And he means it. And he is seeking absolution and help. And I am feeling overjoyed because I am learning that I really am not responsible for his faith. Oh sure, as a parent it is my DUTY to take him to church, to read him the Word, to take him to the Sacraments, and to teach him the faith. But I can rejoice that it is NOT my duty to create faith in Him.
God is faithful, He is here, and He IS DOING IT. Thank you Father for your tender mercy.
He had stayed behind as our 4 yr old asked him for something and our son said, "Daddy I'm really sorry I was whining so much about my brother's new toys today. (Today was our now 3 yr old's birthday.) It's so hard when they're SO new and SO cool. But I know that toys are not important. Food is important. People are important too. And Jesus is important."
I had to laugh hard. He definitely is a boy. ;)
Our 4 yr old has been really struggling with coveting and stealing toys from his brothers lately. Each time we've disciplined and given words of reproof and correction and really spent time dealing with his heart...loving him, affirming him in his faith and salvation, and my husband has offered absolution each and every time.
At times it has become overwhelming to see such reoccurring sin in one so young...overwhelming because it not only grieves our hearts to worry about his faith and our perceived responsibility there, but also because it points the finger right back to us and our own sin. It's like wearing the sin of 5 people for me: my four sons and myself...and then blaming myself for their sin knowing I bore them in sin...and then to think we've solved the issue only to have him give right in again. I've prayed about it, prayed with him, and reminded him that any time he feels tempted he can come to us and we will help him.
But tonight showed such grace and love from God. HE IS HERE. HE IS WORKING. HE IS TRULY PRESENT IN OUR LIVES. My son is saved. God's Holy Spirit is truly present in his heart and was truly given in his baptism. I have evidence as my son's heart is moved to repentance each night before bed without even a little prompting from us. And when my husband gave absolution he was truly comforted and sighed a little sigh of happy content relief.
A week ago we all got sick with the flu. You know, the real flu, the fever, cold, body ache kind. Well, thank the Lord my husband and I avoided it. Anyways, our poor 4 yr old also gets respiratory distress whenever he gets sick. We were doing around the clock nebulizer treatments trying to keep him out of the ER. One night, in the middle of the night, my husband was up doing a treatment for him and in his half asleep, half dopey albuterol state our son said in a funny drawn out voice (like when someone is waking up from being put under), "Daadd, I'm sorry I took my brother's toy today. It was just so shiny...and so new...and it had so many cool things inside of it. I just wanted it in my pocket."
We had a good chuckle over that one too. His heart is being moved by God's Holy Spirit to repentance at the tender age of 4. And he means it. And he is seeking absolution and help. And I am feeling overjoyed because I am learning that I really am not responsible for his faith. Oh sure, as a parent it is my DUTY to take him to church, to read him the Word, to take him to the Sacraments, and to teach him the faith. But I can rejoice that it is NOT my duty to create faith in Him.
God is faithful, He is here, and He IS DOING IT. Thank you Father for your tender mercy.
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