I've done quite a bit of deep thinking about home schooling and all the different philosophies concerning its end goals since we first decided to homeschool 7 years ago. I've pondered, prayed about, and conversed on/read about everything from unschooling to Classical to college by 12 and everything in between. What I've learned is that though my children are really learning a lot right now, I'm the one learning the most, learning how to live after over 20 years of being in institutions from private preschool to public school to private college and having my life regulated and run for me while trying to learn the most, be the best, and have the best job one day. But sometimes I feel like I'm floundering. Like I'm not really sure what the point is for me or for them...what is our end goal?

Obviously, most basically speaking, first and foremost my desire for my children is that they learn to love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, and soul and to love their neighbor as themselves. Second I want them to have the desire and tools to be able to learn whatever it is they want to learn in order to make a living for themselves in something that allows them to serve their Lord and their neighbor while also having fun and being able to provide for whatever family God gives them.

But I guess I struggle with how to make their childhood life at home lead them in that direction. Our life feels so minute to minute, so pieced together like some kind of piece quilt. When I look at the big picture of what our year has already held I'm amazed at the learning experiences and things they've accomplished that rival projects I saw presented in middle school. But sometimes I panic that life isn't more all laid out for me with a+b= successful independent child. Instead this learning and growing and training of a child is an endless path of adjusting, changing, and reworking. If public school education is a jigsaw puzzle, home schooling sometimes feels like balloon art. 

First can I hit it, second will it pop, third, eh heck, let's try it, we can always blast a different one later...