A woman went to the hospital to have a baby. Labor went quick and smooth but because mother was not allowed to eat or drink she began to feel tired and dehydrated towards the end. The nurses hooked her up to an iv bag of fluids and she was given them for the remainder of labor. As baby was emerging the exit was not as quick as the doctor wanted. He quickly grabbed the vacuum to "assist" with delivery. Mother did not even know what the doctor was doing. The baby made his way out and as mother reached for her baby the doctor handed him off to waiting nurses who whisked him off to the nicu. Mother was told baby was fine but that he had aspirated fluids and needed to be looked over. Mother wondered how the doctor could possibly know the baby had aspirated fluids or had anything wrong with him when he hadn't even observed the baby but instead handed him off to the nurses as if he had just uncovered an explosive from her uterus.
Hours went by. Mother was notified that her baby had ultrasounds, x-rays, blood work, and some scans. When she demanded to know why they told her a minor problem was uncovered (that would have been uncovered by the pediatrician during the baby's first appointment) that the hospital planned to hand off to her child's dr. The baby's blood sugar was also off due to the iv fluids mother was given in labor and the nurses gave the baby a sugar water bottle without informing mother or first giving her the option to nurse. Nothing further was wrong. However, since it was now 5 pm on a Friday, the hospital notified mother that her son would be spending the weekend in the nicu. Insurance does not allow transfers on the weekend, even if it is in the same building. Mother was released from the hospital and now had to travel to spend time with her newborn son. She pumped and when she was not feeding her son she requested that he be given only her colostrum while she was gone. The weekend ended and as mother strapped her son into his car seat to go home the nurses came in. In the final labs it was discovered that her son had a touch of jaundice. Also, since mother's milk had not yet come in fully, he was not having as many wet diapers as they wanted. The nurses informed her that her son would be staying and that she needed to switch over to formula because she simply "didn't have enough milk". Mother fought the decision and finally agreed to give formula after nursing. After several more days baby was released but mother was given strict instructions to come back in 48 hours for another jaundice check. For several more weeks baby was subjected to the checks and when mother questioned it she was chastised for not caring about how serious jaundice "could" be.
Something is very very wrong when the web of lawsuits, insurance, politics, and the pharmaceutical world are so interwoven that a woman is not allowed to take her baby home with something as common and simple as very low level jaundice...something that is perfectly able to be taken care of in the hands of a pediatrician, or a mother.
What is even more maddening is that everyone sits around applauding them for this saying at least they aren't letting things go and are doing their jobs. They aren't doing THEIR jobs...when they make choices about your baby and your body without asking you, educating you, and letting you ultimately decide, THEY ARE DOING YOUR JOB. And they are saying you are too stupid and incompetent to do it yourself.
Look, yes yes hospitals are wonderful, doctors are wonderful, nurses are wonderful, and each of our babies and we would be dead without them I am sure (:-p) but really?!
The worst part of all is that a woman has NO say whatsoever in any of this. No one says, "Well, it appears your baby has a bit of jaundice, how about we educate you about this and you can decide if you would like to keep him here or take care of him on your own/with his pediatrician?" And if she DARE to question, well, she can probably add another 5 days to her baby's stay if not expect a visit from CPS. There are so many causes like the fear of lawsuits if they let a case go and it gets bad and mother decides it's the hospital's fault (which opens up a whole new can of worms in the messed up web of insanity), making more money on each baby, and more.
But whatever it all is, in the hospital, the schools, the airports, etc etc...I went to sleep and then woke up in a country who's majority of citizens have absolutely zero common sense, self sufficiency, or creative independence. We are content to let everyone else call the shots, boss us around, and say we are all too stupid and busy to figure it all out anyways so we better just leave it to the professionals.
At least the food is good.
Just curious, Melrose. What is your goal for this post? Is the post evangelical, so to speak? Is it intended to be provocative of thought, conversation, or both? Are you just blowing off steam? Writing for the joy of writing about a topic that is important to you?
ReplyDeleteJust illuminating the human condition I suppose. I would say my blog is too small for goals...it's just a place for me to record.
ReplyDeleteSo the human condition is to "have absolutely zero common sense, self sufficiency, or creative independence", as evidenced by the fact that most humans give birth in hospitals when given the opportunity?
ReplyDeleteBut, I would agree it could fit into any of your mentioned categories, except maybe blowing off steam as I was too worn from a long day to have any steam left to waste on blowing. ;)
ReplyDeleteThe focus of the post was not on the humans giving birth in the hospital but on the freedoms stripped from a mother and the way she is often dumbed down in the eyes of the staff once she enters. The zero common sense is a sad result of a very slow stripping of rights that has caused everyone to wake up sleepy and wonder how we all woke up where we are.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is not the mother giving birth in the hospital. The problem is what the hospital has become and also what the people have become. The two are at war with each other, creating their own problems and making their own problems worse. The hospital is the way it is because people won't stop suing. So everyone walks around in a confused fog with more and more laws, restrictions, and insurance. sigh.
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ReplyDeleteI hope that all makes sense, but basically it's frustrating to see so many stories of women on the news being abused and having their choices that should be theirs to make questioned simply because they are not doctors or nurses. There are some amazing hospitals out there that do their job without stripping away freedom and enslaving the people that step inside. But it's scary when it's not the case. And when you take a close look and try to figure out why they are that way in the first place and give a little understanding, well, the fingers point in about 5 different directions and it looks like a nasty web. But my husband really liked the omelets at the hospital after my 3rd was born. So there's always that.
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ReplyDeleteI was just glad things didn't take a turn for the horrifying after I read, "He quickly grabbed the vacuum to 'assist' with delivery." Something awful happened to one of my mom's friend's babies during a vacuum delivery.
I don't think Melrose's post was anti-medicine or anti-hospital. I've been through plenty of annoying (although not dangerous malpractice-y) hospital routines. The staff just always do things a certain way, because for a few women and babies, it is vitally necessary. For the rest of us, it's just uncomfortable (and/or expensive).
The upselling irritates me (although the nurses are not as confident now that I've had 4--or maybe I'm more confident). And telling me I need to sleep, so they'll just take the baby to the nursery for a while? No thank you. Who sleeps in a hospital?
The thing is, in a situation like you described, the nurses and doctors routinely take care of (and feed formula to) countless babies, who end up fine. So they don't see what the big deal is.
Not defending their actions, just pointing out their POV. Nurses can be bossy and fussy, but that's their job. I choose my battles and let them do their job.
I don't know about freedom and enslavement. I guess hospitals are increasingly adopting technologies to make sure Dad never takes the baby away, until they say he can. And the staff sort of treat him like a second-class parent, even asking if he punches me when he's sitting right there. Once I accidentally checked myself into a hospital when I was 39 weeks (oops) and they wouldn't let me leave until the baby came out. The doc was going someplace that weekend.
We have a cool 80-year-old Indian pediatrician who always lets our jaundiced babies out after only a day under the blue light. He just says to bring him/her the next day to his office so he can check them, and they're always fine.
My advice: stop listening to/watching the news :) It saves me a lot of useless misery and worry. And get a doctor you trust, and then leave it up to your husband to decide which battles to fight. It's not worth it to get upset while delivering.
Please don't discount the fact that God has put those people, nurses and doctors, there to care for these children. I suppose they are "just doing their job," but that doesn't mean they're just slaves to insurers. In all my dealings with hospitals, the care of the baby came first. Sure, they're probably overly cautious, but I'd prefer that over the alternative.
ReplyDeleteI've had multiple very pleasant hospital births and I've never felt bullied, belittled, or forced to do what I didn't want. I also don't feel I've been stupid or incompetent to ask for their help.
I think what is most upsetting to me about this post is that, for as long as I can remember, women who home birth and/or home school have told me that it's just their choice, that neither is better than the other and neither makes a better mother. Here you seem to be claiming the opposite, and who does that help? Is a woman a worse mother, one who can't make her own choices, because she chooses to use a hospital and all that comes with it?
Ugh - I'm rambling. I guess what I'm trying to say is that some women prefer a hospital setting. Some woman like doctors and like to take advice from them. Please don't assume or infer that they are less because of that. Many families that choose to go the hospital route have done just as much soul searching and research about it as you have. They're just more comfortable using the other option.
Anon, it's never stupid or incompetent to ASK for help. And I am sure this woman mentioned in the post would say she wasn't bullied either. No one thinks they are bullied they just accept it. And that's what I'm calling into question.
ReplyDeleteEveryone, before posting a comment, read the post again. This post has NOTHING to do with home vs hospital birth and EVERYTHING to do with politics. It's about a country where citizens are not questioning or allowed to question decisions that are being made about them and their babies in situations like hospitals, schools, and airports where authorities say the decisions that are being made are too important and they are the experts.
I very nearly decided on a hospital birth with the child I just lost because I wanted an epidural. Again, I could write the same type of story in an airport setting or school setting, etc. It has nothing to do with birth.
Katy, agreed.
ReplyDeleteThis woman I know was a sobbing mess when they wouldn't let her take her son home. And she felt he did not need to be in their care but felt she was not free to take him.
Interesting thoughts here and I am aware of your disclaimer regarding country/school/airport vs. hospital care. From my perspective, the services we receive as citizens of our community / students in a school / passengers in an airport cannot be compared with the services we receive in the hospital. The birthing unit at the hospital, for me at least, puts us in the unique position of saying (or thinking) "I will take the information you give me and sort through it, picking and choosing what I know works for my family and prior delivery record. Thank you for your knowledge base Dr. or Nurse, but I've got this covered now." HOWEVER, the moment that my child starts to crash and needs emergency care then I am throwing my child into their arms, surrendering all. At that moment I have gladly boosted my nurse or my doctor onto the pedestal because they have something I do not have, that being medical training to save that which is most valued to me. It is a conundrum. I guess I was just willing to suck it up for a few days, attempt to put the best construction on their efforts, and enjoy the R and R.
ReplyDeleteAnon here again. I forgot to add that my experience with public schools (and I do have that) has led me to trust between zero to three percent of their surrogate decision making. Homeschooling was not an option for us so the moment a private Christian school opened we transferred all of our children and became an integral part of their education. I question not the intention of most public school teachers, but I loathe the surrogacy of the teachers' unions. After we withdrew our children from public schooling a dear teacher stopped by our house to let me know we were being "blacklisted" in our community by the staff and to offer her congratulations for our decision. Thanks be to God I just paid my last payment after 15 years of private school tuition. Now to pay off the Concordia system!
ReplyDeleteShout out here to Catholic hospitals! All the local nurses prefer to work at our OSF hospital, and they have a "Safe for babies" (ie you won't get accidentally spayed, no one talks about BC) sign as you enter, which is reassuring when one is in labor. And a valet who looks like George-Michael on Arrested Development (short-sleeved dress shirt and all). I've delivered 2 babies there so far, and God willing, some more.
ReplyDeleteI find usually a bad experience has to do with a bad doctor (there are a few), rather than the hospital staff. And the staff has nothing to do with the hospital (or state) policies.
I don't think Melrose was attacking the doctrine of vocation, which some anons are suggesting (area all the anons the same person?).
I'm not against home births, with an attendant doctor, but I live 3-5 miles from 3 hospitals. It's just not for our family right now. And those hospitals all have only good breakfast food. I make my husband go out and get a gyros or cheeseburger or two if I deliver after 11am. And a milkshake.
PS "Doing their job" (and hopefully well) means fulfilling their vocation, which means God put them there to care for my children.
ReplyDeleteFirst Anon here again. Maybe I was a bit defensive about the hospital birth thing, but I think it applies in many of the situations you're talking about. I did birth in hospitals, and I did take advise from doctors and nurses. There were rules to be followed, but I knew that going in and could make an educated decision before we decided to birth there. That may the difference between the birth situation and the other situations you've mentioned. There were choices that we could make.
ReplyDeleteSure, there are tons and tons of rules everywhere and many of us could probably make equal, if not better choices for ourselves and our families. But, have you seen the people around us? It may sound harsh, but SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE NO CLUE! About anything! In many cases the rules are a drag, but they're there for the good of the whole.
You probably don't agree with me anyway. I think maybe I'm just less cynical about it all than you. In many cases I see that people are attempting to help rather than rule me.
Thank God we're all just biding our time here anyway.
I agree with you anon in many areas, and with you Katy. But bottom line is, choices should not be made for us. We have brains and no matter how clueless we seem we should be ASKED if we would like our baby to stay for further care rather than TOLD.
ReplyDeleteFor the good of the whole? I believe that should me MY choice to make for ME and your choice to make for you. The people who made those choices are just people after all.
I have had all my babies in hospitals and was very blessed that none of them pushed decisions on me or did anything to my baby that I did not approve. But there was once when my son did not pass a hearing test and I was not allowed in the room for further testing but had to watch from a window. Sounds minor. But the idea that I didn't want to leave my baby was shocking to them and they thought I was weird. I did not appreciate that. I have not been blessed with any more children yet, but live in a place now where I am afraid of the hospitals here. I agree no one should be able to take our parenting rights and make our decisions- so it is a political issue. Don't need the government- local or federal- to tell me how to educate my kids. They might think I'm too dumb but really I think most of them are too dumb and often consider themselves "professionals" but sometimes they don't seem to have the ability to think critically about their profession. So while I appreciate a job well done, I appreciate more my freedom to decide what a good job is or is not.
ReplyDeleteLast Anon, I couldn't agree more. How frustrating that from the first days of our child's life separation is seen as something parents do not have a choice over and we should just get with the program.
ReplyDeleteThis whole conversation reminds me of this recent news story where their baby was taken away by police because they left the hospital in order to seek a second opinion. What is this country coming to?
ReplyDeletehttp://rt.com/usa/russian-couple-seeking-answers-baby-489/
And then your perspective totally changes when you've done all that is expected in a hospital setting, and when you want to go home with your healthy baby after 24 hours, totally false charges against you are filed with Child Protective Services. Then fear rules where only joy and attempts to rest should abound. You feel so violated by the system which is supposedly there to protect you and those you love, a system which makes the wrong choices for everybody at every turn.
ReplyDeleteAnon and Jody, how horrible! :(
ReplyDeleteI am late to the discussion, but high five, Mel. The direction of American medicine scares the daylights out of me. Next is forced vaccination. I am not anti-vax, but two of my vaxed kids have had AWFUL reactions (autism, seizures, 10 straight days of fever and diarrhea, and I suspect a mild case of Guillain-Barre syndrome). Hence, we decline most shots and delay the others. I am afraid that if forced vax comes, they're going to kill my children or make them all retarded. Kyrie eleison.
ReplyDelete:( Freedoms surely slip away one by one. Thanks be to God there is one thing they can't touch. Come soon Lord Jesus.
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