It has to be.

For just a moment, let your mind go to the worst pain, the worst brokenness, the worst loneliness you have ever experienced. Imagine the worst humiliation and the biggest fear.

Think of some of the worst news stories you've ever heard. 

Think of an orphan, one that was innocently born into a horrendous situation and has known 9 "homes" in her first 3 years of life. Imagine the terror, the brokenness, the quiet hours at night when she is all alone rocking herself to sleep because she has never known a real Mama. 

We can all go there. We can all go to absolute darkness. We can all imagine it. We can all, even if we've never truly experienced it, go to that dark pit of despair. Because we all share in the curse, the hell, the brokenness of sin and it's effects of separating us from God. 

But there are two types of people: those that go into the pit alone, and those that have Christ. 

It is not by choice that we have Christ. Christ IS. He is there because it is who He is. It is, however, by choice if we DO NOT have Christ. It is anger, rebellion, and hatred of God that we choose to damn ourselves. 

I used to wonder how a baptized child of God falls away. In my pit I have wondered, is this what it feels like to fall away? Am I falling away? Can sadness or death or despair make me fall away? Can I get so sad that He leaves me or that I accidentally fall away?

Pits come out of no where. One moment you have peace, the next, unexpectedly, the devil forces his ugly way in and you find yourself with the lights turned off all around you, groping around in certain peril. 

A sister of mine today recalled to me the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. She pointed out that when they were thrown into the fire, they said that they knew God would save them, but if He did not, they still would not worship the false god. And God did save them, but only when He first joined them in the fire. That evil wretched pit of death....that somehow did not cause death. 

The difference between those who fall away and those who don't is that the Holy Spirit dwells in me and despite my absolute sin sick soul and absolute inability to save myself, He saves me. But those that are damned, they are haters of God. They aren't just sick, they aren't just broken, they aren't just despairing and prostrate on the floor in sickness of soul...they have chosen idolatry. They have chosen themselves instead of God. They are not sick and broken, they are proud and rebellious. 

Faith is a state of being that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Jesus. It is not something I can conjure up in myself. In fact, often when I am lifted out of these pits, I look around in confusion at where I just was and how on earth am I still breathing?

And that makes me think of flowers.

photo credit

How can something be so beautiful, so delicate, so purposeless except for their beauty? Oh, but of course they are NOT purposeless, their purpose lies in what they give, not of their own accord, but passively. Without them we could not enjoy the fruits of the earth that require pollination nor honey, it all its miraculous goodness. But God didn't just provide a means for pollination, He made it beautiful too. He who clothes the lilies of the fields, how much more will He clothe us! He is coming. Spring is coming.