"Some went down to the sea in ships, doing business on the great waters; they saw the deeds of the Lord, His wondrous works in the deep. For he commanded and raised the stormy wind, which lifted up the waves of the sea. They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths; their courage melted away in their evil plight;
they reeled and staggered like drunken men and were at their wits' end. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven." Psalm 107:23-30

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Self made prison

I'm in this awful place right now where I don't want to receive comfort from anyone. It's selfish and stupid and it makes me tired of myself. I want to tell myself to shut up and hop to it. I wish my Dad was around to give me a "kick in the pants".

I want to be angry. I want to grieve until I have nothing left and am just a heap on the floor. And, dude, we should totally go back to those days where it's normal to tear your clothes when you're shocked and grieving. I bet that felt good.

I don't know what to do. I don't know if this is ever going to stop. I want to despair and see if He will come for me.

But all of that is just selfishness. So I get up, make my bed, and hop to it.

Spring is coming. Even in the pit of grief, it is coming.

photo credit: me
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 11, 2014 at 9:59 AM

    Even while you don't want comforting, God will continue to do so.

    Jeremiah 31:15-17

    15 Thus says the Lord:
    “A voice is heard in Ramah,
    lamentation and bitter weeping.
    Rachel is weeping for her children;
    she refuses to be comforted for her children,
    because they are no more.”

    16 Thus says the Lord:
    “Keep your voice from weeping,
    and your eyes from tears,
    for there is a reward for your work,
    declares the Lord,
    and they shall come back from the land of the enemy.
    17 There is hope for your future,
    declares the Lord,
    and your children shall come back to their own country.

    Continued prayers for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  2. MelroseFebruary 14, 2014 at 5:45 AM

    Thank you, what a comfort is Scripture that reminds us all the saints throughout time have had to endure weeping. Christ will keep us.

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